ARE MY THOUGHTS MY OWN?
We're all the same. Everyone faces every emotion. Everyone is capable of reflection. Not everyone uses these facets though.
We are water. We are malleable and hard to contain. We reflect what's around us. We have unknown depths - depth that can be scary to dive into, but is ultimately more interesting than any surface ripple.
WRITING
I’ve realized
Writing
Shouldn’t be beautiful
Or well crafted
Like carved stone
It should be free
Honest and pure
Like spilled wine
Writing releases wounds
And allows them to close
Without burdening others
Or over-privileging a fleeting thought
I write to be free
So you will not judge me
CIVILIAN
Civil-I-an
Civil I am
Not
I am not civil
UNTITLED
Your voice scratches my soul
Days pass like lies I can't keep
FAITH
Is not knowing any answer except why
No who what where or when or even how
Find the why and you will find faith
THE TREES
Surrounded by leafy green trees
Dancing in the breeze
They wave at me
Letting their branches move freely
I smile at them
And join in their freedom
We bask together
As the sun blesses another
DEATH
Cemeteries are sad. Not in a creepy death way, but in a frozen time way. It's stagnant. It's human life turned into statues. Memories into stone. I don't wanna be remembered as cement. I want my life to be passed on and used again. Why should we put decaying fabrics six feet under I'm an effort to preserve an already dead body. A gravestone isn't a person. That person stays in the hearts and memories of loved ones, not under the ground. So why not give those lifeless limbs to a wounded soldier or accident victim. Why not spread the shadows of their life where they lived and loved, rather than an expensively designated patch of grass amongst skeletal strangers. Carve my name into my favorite tree so that I'm alive every time that tree blooms. Don't leave my name on cold cement. Let me see the world and wander. Don't let your last vision of me be lifeless.
LOVE POEM
I have a hard time listening
When you read aloud to me
I prefer to watch
Your face lights up and crinkles
You add the personality to poetry
And aren't afraid to say
You don't know a word
Normally I would cringe
When one bends back the book spine
But with you, I watch happily
And listen to your empathy
For the man in the love poem
Who is waiting for his wife at home
KNOWLEDGE
Education only provides
The key terms
To unlock
The knowledge
You already possessed
RELIGION
maybe every allah, prophet, god and goddess
are a facet of the Being,
in which every individual
experiences a part
of the goodness, power and sovereignty
that is our creator
SLEEPING THOUGHTS
I’m for once thankful for your snoring
As it snaps my brain back to reality
And out of the garish and anxious state it slips into each night when the lights go out
It’s as if the lights are also turned off upstairs in my brain
And the doors are locked and shop is closed
The workers are no longer there to tidy up and keep things in order
With nobody to sort my thoughts they creep out of catalogues
With nobody to dust the shelves, words and ideas slither out of place
They dance in new pairings and create casualties of peace piece by piece
Memories and questions that had been sealed away slip into the foreground to fool around
They tango together, taking turns leading and warping into each other
The dance overtakes me as I fall asleep
Until your loud snore sounds the alarm that reality has not been altered
And all of a sudden these thoughts reprimand themselves and return to order
A TIDY MIND
A tidy mind Is sprung forth
From a messy home
Thoughts go in boxes
Categorized
To give space
For new thoughts
To roam the halls
Since I’m stuck
In this room
Full of chaos
A room of one's own
Is all that you own
A mind of your own
So keep it tidy
And sort the chaos
WEARY OR DREARY
I can't tell the difference between sad and tired
Weary or dreary
Repressed tears
This laughter is lunacy
For I cannot even tell
Morose and somber
Am I depressed
Is this suffering inevitable
Or simply a symptom
Depravity?
Sleep deprived.
DESIRE
It used to be blue
Full of heat
Expanding potential
And far-reaching flames
Then simmered to orange
A stable fable of commitment
With flickers of red
When there was a bit of air
But now it's gray
Smothered yet neglected
The coals cannot claim to be embers
But I faintly remember
That blue inside of you
UNHAIR DISADVANTAGE
Young boys look at big screens
And they dream
Oh to be Iron Man
To find a "female"
To be impenetrable
Yet beloved
But boys who grow up
In this unfair tale
Lose their hair
Get rejected by women
And wonder
Why can't I be
Iron Man?
Something they have yet to learn
Is that Fe goes with male
to make Woman
It's a wonder!
STARRY NIGHT
We took the stars out of the sky
And pasted them on our skyscrapers
We flipped the world upside down
To make it ours
We scraped life off this planet
To make it shine
But in a thousand years
The stars will take back
What belongs to the world
And we will be meager dust
Amidst the starry nights
EXTRAS
The extras people
You can always tell
Would you like a bottle or the glass?
Bottle
Appetizers? Yes, of course
We will have the...
Anything for dessert?
Hmm.. I'll try the...
Will this be all together or separate?
All together please.
Even with pizza!
Extra
Extra toppings
Extra sauces
Extra is everything
You can always tell
Who is accustomed to having
Ordering without worrying
Or checking accounts
And who
Is
Not
LEAVE BE
Her eyes glazed over
Blurry with leaked tears
The words on the page blotted
So her eyes shifted to the window
White walls now rouged
By translucent floiage
The leaflets all amber and jaded
Leaving golden days behind
The mottled landscape
Transposed dilatory
A whorled watercolor
The colors of Warhol
As if stippled by Monet
This impression was felt
Such that the colors of fall
Became the symbol of change
Happening within her
No longer enthralled
Her desire to seem stolid
Now suffused by vulnerability
Ideals withered and replaced
By this hostile reality
Men may never escape their cruelty
But women will withstand
Like the leaves of fall
We have been burned and crumbled
Into a brief respite
Before blooming anew
Our weathered limbs reach out
To be renewed in he solace of sun
A warm embrace welcomes growth
Sprouting new seeds askew
To claim fresh ground
Deserting the rotten and corrupted
For a tree, like me, must evolve
Forming roots to weather storms
This labor is draining
COFFEE & WINE
Her morning coffee sits
On the cluttered coffee table
Basking in the afternoon sun
She often sleeps late
But this coffee is not just brewed
It is waiting
To be sipped again
Perhaps after a chore
Or while picking up a book
Maybe not until dusk
To be sipped betwixt gulps of red wine
It is comfort and ritual
A daily luxury
That never gets old
Even when the coffee gets cold
Just like her mother
Was this learned behavior
In utero or childhood perhaps
Maybe even adolescence
Or was this genetics
A destiny of coffee and wine
MESSY
The kitchen is sticky
And layered in old crap
Waiting for you
To care enough
To pick it up
Much like your life
I cannot do it for you
But instead I am stuck
Waiting for you
To care enough
To pick it up
LOOSELY
Loosely interlocked
No grip
No need to grasp
Glasses pushed back
With hair pulled forward
From the wind whipped
Through the rolled-down window
Their hands were calm
Resting
Together
A gentle touch
With nothing to prove
BOYS & PUPPIES
Boys and puppies
Alike in certain ways
One of which being
All the more desirable
And charming
With tousled hair
Perhaps it is revealing
Of their true nature
Which is rather helpless
And in need of attention
FEAR
You fear your feelings
Rejection
Embarrassment
Ignorance
Vulnerability
It is too much for you
So you shift your focus
Claiming it's on us
So the the onus is on me
To reveal reality
Without igniting your fear
Do you care? That I am scared?
I fear you
What you do to me
How you drain me
How opinions become fact
And vice versa
How do you not see?
As I tiptoe around
Flinching at your sound
I fear your feelings
Because I cannot endure
This charade anymore
ESCAPE
Easing out of bed
Sliding down the stairs
I sip out to the front porch
In search of solitude
I ponder happiness
Decide it isn't less or more
But rather less introspection
And more of the mundane
From which I suffer
Perhaps the remedy is solitude
Perhaps it is better companionship
Perhaps I shall never now
As I sit still
Solemnly on my front porch
HUMAN NATURE
To seek out things we have in common
With those we adore of admire
And for those we dislike
We must find differences
The reality is we will always see what we seek
When this process of being human
Is our most commonality
TRAVEL
to travel through space and time? fly on a plane to a new zone with different customs from another path of life. We feel so strongly when we enter other worlds - whether appreciation for our own out of lack of understanding or envy of a simpler or richer lifestyle. To step into a slower passage of time, filled with passive sips and intimate conversation. or to allow yourself to be sucked up by the energy that swirls in the hundreds, millions, of souls darting around you in search of something. this change in time, place and norms is a change in your brain. the connections you make in the external shape your thought patterns. are we simply our surroundings?
MEANING OF LIFE
meaning of life
why are we here
whats the good life
and what does it look like
why do we suffer
would life be better without suffering
what makes humanity distinct from other mammals
whats the purpose of life -
self-serving to the whole of humanity, to benefit others
we accept the reality with which we are presented
IDEAL PURPOSE
I’m so scared of failure. I’m scared of the whispers that will tell you I was a waste of time. I’m scared I'll spend all of my time and I will amount to nothing. Isn't to exist to be more than nothing in its very nature? Could my potential outweigh my production? Is it in my nature to be productive? I will just be me. Whatever that may be. There is no guarantee. But I want to matter. Perhaps for narcissistic reasons. If I don't matter to everyone else then why would I matter at all? If I don't make a difference then why should I exist at all? Maybe my purpose is to create someone, rather than something, who exists. Can one not matter only to oneself and that be sufficient?
CHANGE
Sometimes change starts small
With just a few pennies
These drops in the bucket
You may share some new thoughts
And change a few hearts
For in order to move a mountain
You must start with the small stones
Carry away those fears and falsehoods
To pave the way for a new day
An opened mind and a changed heart
For this is the art of change
Just start with a small exchange
And one day you will see the light
Which is no longer blocked by height
Or fright
This is the might of change
I AM NOT UNIQUE
I share the thoughts of many
Some here and others there
With everyone I can agree and disagree
For that is the nature of humanity
If you cannot find likeness with another
Then you do not know them truly
Or yourself entirely
To better know one's self
One must study the other
For only through comparison
Do we find definition and clarity
I see your insanity
And I recognize my own humanity
In each other we find humility
And a bit of serendipity
The fragile ego is all we have
Until we see beyond the self
And accept our responsibility
To each and every other
For if every action
There is an equal and opposite
Reaction
Then what action
Will you take
What difference
Can you make
I can vow not to hate
I can acknowledge
My mistake
For privilege
Is not the greatest fate
THE GRINCH
Surrounded by idiots
They cheer and chant
Terrible slogans
Logic, they can't
Volatility and virility
Thus is this
Toxic Masculinity
In which we exist
False News and Church Pews
These things have in common
A shared spectator
Yelling Ah-men
Knees on necks
Voices stamped out
Bullets in bodies
Bloodied streets all about
I doom scroll
And want to shout
At each and every troll
But much like the Grinch,
I'm shouting at walls.
Echoes of falsehoods,
Amongt prayers of blue,
I say to you,
"You're an idiot"
And, "that is not true"
But it does not matter
You still insist
"All Lives Matter"
Expecially the blue?
The death of one is not equal
To the murder of another
This system is not broken
On that we agree
But it's purpose is corrupt
Something you fail to see
We are not all the same
We can not
We do not
All love each other
I am not the Grinch
This is not Whoville
But there is a unified who
That looks and thinks like you
And sometimes wears blue
And there are walls
That scream absurdities
And disregard our realities
Because we do not conform
To this history of hate
Veiled behind white lights
And capitalism's delights
I am not the Grinch
For he is accepted
And the past is acknowledged
I am not alone
Except in the book of white faces
I try to tell, to yell
To share and care
But these walls are hell
And my eyes can only stare
For so long at such words
Instead I must go
And remove the megaphones
So that I can march elsewhere
To show that I care
![]() | ![]() | ![]() | ![]() |
---|---|---|---|
![]() |